So you started rock climbing because your boyfriend wanted to take you out and show you the ropes. Or, maybe it was because that cute guy offered to belay you at the gym one evening. Whatever the reason, it was a means to an end because now you’re hooked and after your first gear placement, you’re never turning back. There are great things on the horizon.

But……pump the brakes. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. Maybe you haven’t quite gotten there yet, and that’s okay too. You’re still somewhat new to climbing. You rely on him to pick the crag and put up a rope. You see other women lead climbing in the gym and watch in wonder, asking yourself if someday, you could do that, too. You’re feeling a little self-conscious tying in for another toprope lap. A part of you feels eager to learn something new—but the nagging feeling of uncertainty lingers.

I’m here to tell you that the most powerfully sexy thing that you can do for yourself is to carpe that diem and remember that your passion speaks louder than words or your looks.

If I could recount all of the things I have done in my youth because I thought it would make me more attractive to the opposite sex, well, we would be looking at a rather embarrassingly long list. Luckily, I’ve had the better part of a decade to learn that discovering my own passions made me beautiful. I carpe’d my diem without a second thought as to what anybody, guy or gal, thought about me.

We are all guilty of wanting to impress those around us. It’s just human nature to want to look good and give an appearance that we are good at something. It can be frustrating when we’re not, and in turn becomes easy to default to a more secondary role.

But don’t let him, or anybody else for that matter, play the primary role that was meant for you.

I’ve heard it many times from girlfriends in the past: “I started rock climbing with my boyfriend.” and I personally think that that’s wonderful. Everybody starts somewhere, right? And to be able to share a passion for climbing with someone you love…well, it gives me the warm fuzzies. Warm fuzzies aside, it is a very common theme: boy loves climbing, boy likes girl, boy takes girl rock climbing. Getting entangled in someone that you like, so much that you start to check out and take on some of their hobbies, is okay. (It’s also okay if you’re not interested in them.)

What I’m saying is that you may be the most intelligent and witty gal he’ll ever fall for, but if you aren’t pursuing passions of your own, independent of your partner, then you’re neglecting a huge chance to build some strong self-love.

This isn’t my way of saying single climbing lady life is better. You can both be passionate about climbing. I’m just saying, ditch the boyfriend or skip that date tonight, or ditch whatever it is you’ve been using as a crutch or an excuse. Instead, switch it up and go climbing with new friends; they will offer new perspectives and beta. Take the plunge and sign up for that lead climbing class at your gym. Start planning an adventure all of your own. In my eyes, these are things equivalent to taking yourself out to a movie or treating yourself to a nice dinner.

There is nothing sexier to me than a woman who will dine alone.

We all know that it can feel good to have somebody regard us with awe, but as fantastic of a feeling as it can be, it feels one thousand times better when we look at ourselves in that light.

So you started rock climbing with your boyfriend—that’s cool. Maybe you two are happily trading belays and swapping pitches, or maybe he is a thing of the past. However, you started, whatever your reasons, know that it took true courage to dare greatly, to be clear and persistent about who you are, what you wanted, and where you wanted to be. It doesn’t really matter if it started to impress a boy, as long as it ended with you and a killer view and the knowledge that the next pitch is all yours.

4 thoughts

  1. I started climbing with a group of ladies, I loved the challenge and the camaraderie. Then I went for my 2nd climb with a different climbing instructor, who turned out to be hot as hell! …I want him to belay me and then some…

  2. I like this post! I think it’s good to encourage women who learned to climb because of their boyfriends that they can be independent climbers themselves! They may find out that their partner doesn’t know everything, or that they have others they love to climb with too. In my case, it was the opposite, I was the girlfriend who was climbing for over 30 years when I started dating my new partner, who started climbing at 52 years old. Three years later, he’s leading around the same grades as I am, and as much as we love to climb with each other, I’m happy to see him out climbing with others too, learning new things, and having his own experiences. It will only make him a better climber and we’ll have more stories to share.

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